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FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL (or I Love Lave Dash)

June 5, 2026 @ 8:00 pm - June 21, 2026 @ 3:00 pm
a white mustache on a stick on a green background

A professional football team is torn between two potential top draft picks: charismatic multiethnic finesse machine Lave Dash and salt-of-the-earth muscle monster Mervin Gufflinson the First. Making the crazy decision to draft them both causes a media meltdown that changes the game. And all sports. And the whole world. And the entire space-time continuum. Featuring an all-female cast and an all-star collection of fake moustaches and wigs, this world premiere is an uproarious comedy about America’s obsession with football, the joys of masculinity, and the consequences of having our idols do exactly what we want them to do.

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